I must have sat down to write something fifteen times today and instead of witty, charming sentences rolling from my fingers, I have nothing to show for it but, well, this:
If you are noticing that there is nothing there, ten points to you!
Truly, I seem to be in a writer’s slump. I have made many
failed amazing attempts at filling posts with pictures and shortened versions of the ridiculous that makes up my day, but alas, I know you can see through my shroud of lameness.
Can you ever forgive me?
I appreciate it.
Now, onto the good stuff.
This gem slipped past my spam filter, which obviously means that this must be ligit, right?
I am the Fund Manager of Fidelity Investment International, the World Largest Fund Management Company with over US$1.2 Trillion Capital Investment Fund. I handle all our Investor’s Direct Capital Funds and secretly extracted and retained 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP) per annum on each of the Investor’s Marginal Capital Fund whenever we exceeded our annual target. As an expert, I have made the sum of (US$45.745 million) from the Investor’s (EMRCP). I seek your consent to assist me receive the sum of US$45.745 million in your account for disbursement between you and me. If you accept this deal, do reply urgently. For more details, Call me on this telephone number (+44)702-408-3606 after replying to my private email address email@example.com
Mr. Abbott Randall,
I need to help this man and get my
greedy hands on my our (US$45.745 million)! I mean, he called me friend, and since people don’t lie about that sort of stuff, we must have met and I just forgot about it.
I sent him all of my personal information, as well as my bank account numbers, credit cards and just to be safe, I put Terry’s information on there too. And because we’re friends, I forwarded Ariana and Harper’s social security numbers. I’ve got it covered.
Man, life is gonna be awesome once I get my money! I’ll pay off my loans, buy a few cars, maybe a few houses, put away for retirement, etc. We’re totally set for life.